Forming any kind of relationship is hard for me. I don’t have any friends and haven’t had a partner in 10 years because of the hurt and betrayal I’ve experienced.
My parents were drug-addicted alcoholics who had many different lovers and a variety of children with other partners. I was married at 18 to a bloke who made me work and then stole all of my money.
My second husband virtually forced me into prostitution and then ran off with one of my stepsisters. When I complained to my mother, she told me that I was worthless and ugly, so what did I expect? Strip As a consequence I’ve now become hard-hearted and cold.
When I want sex, I pay for it. I have the number of an up-market male escort agency on my phone and simply book a stud whenever I’m horny. I have half a dozen guys who know what I require.
I think nothing of ordering them to strip off and pleasure me. The other night I was forced to stay in London on business so I ordered a guy along with my room service.
We had dirty sex three times over and then I kicked him out. I know that colleagues call me The Iceberg. I work hard, play hard and get results. But I can’t honestly say that I like the person I’ve become.
My cousin is just about to marry a very rich man in a lavish ceremony. He’s a fantastic guy and I’m so jealous it hurts.
But I just know that I could never invite someone like him into my life because I’d be terrified about him messing around behind my back. What hope is there for me when I’m so badly damaged?
Originally Shared by anonymous on Just Jane