To Have and to Hold – How to Keep Your Man

By Nataliya Stefanus

Of all the important things mommas never teach their daughters, how to hold onto a man has got to be right near the top. To be fair, many women just don’t know and therefore have nothing to share. Others waste their skills on men not worth keeping. But here’s some advice for anyone willing to invest a few minutes in their chance of being happy for a lifetime.

To be honest, this isn’t really about you and your man. It’s not how to make him miss you. It’s about how my lady makes me miss her. What it lacks in universal application it makes up for in authenticity.

Know what your man likes

Sounds basic, but you’d be surprised how many women never put in a little effort to find those unique things their man likes. Don’t assume all men like sexy underwear, big boobs, lipstick, or jewelry. You may need to put in a lot of time and effort to make him feel safe enough to share what he likes with you. He may harbor some deep shame around what he really wants. He may not want to risk your scorn, especially if it involved another woman.

Gratitude and compliments

Men see themselves as providers, even if you make more money than he does. To thank him for taking such good care of you costs you nothing and even if it’s a lie, it gives him an image to live up to. Let him know he’s good in bed, even if he’s not. Especially if he’s not.

Men are also sensitive about their looks. Perhaps not to the extent women are, but we do want to feel attractive. Find something unique about him that you can connect with that makes him believe (because it is unique) that you truly find him attractive in a way no other man can compete with.

In his own mind, he will often think, “Where would I ever find another woman who thinks I’m attractive and thinks I’m good in bed?”

Never show jealousy

You can’t help how you feel, but displays of jealousy and, much worse, accusations of infidelity will drive a man away and into the arms of another woman. If he has been mentally or even physically unfaithful, don’t punish him. His own conscience will do that for you much better than you can and if you really can’t abide it, leave. Don’t gossip, malign or slander. Don’t nag and pester. It only makes you look petty and gives him justification in his own mind to continue or to do it again.

When you show class, he’ll want you even more.

Create special moments

Every couple should have inside jokes, shared private memories and things that, when your man encounters them, makes him think of you. It can be as simple as a favorite song or a drink you share only with each other. It can be a subtle as your perfume or as in-your-face as a beagle because you both like beagles.

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Written by Funny Tom

I am the man you dream about. The man that can change the world. It begins with me and you. Writer and a poet

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