It’s time to celebrate the grown-up men who know how to treat a woman.
I love Rhett Butler. No, not Gerard. Rhett. In fact, I feel that every man and woman on the planet should be made to watch Gone With The Wind at least twice, if only to teach men how to be men and women how to separate them from the boys.
And if you are dating in the here and now, you know where the boys are: on Tinder, on Match, on the street, making vulgar statements about what they’d like to do with you and where. They’re in your phone texting sexual innuendos before they know your last name and asking to “hang out” because they’re terrified of committing to the idea of a proper date.
Rhett Butler would not do any of this. Rhett was a man in control of himself. He dressed and spoke well, loved better, and had a great sense of humor, sometimes of questionable taste. He was unafraid to speak his mind, stand his ground, fall wildly in love, and show his love (and fight for it, too)
What does this man look like? Here are 13 signs he’s a gentleman.
1. He’s hygienic, but cleans his nails and trims his nose hairs outside of a nail salon.
Think about it: Would Hemingway or a gladiator be getting his nails buffed? Methinks not.
2. He can balance both swag and sophistication, and a career and a personal life without too many proverbial exclamation points.
And certainly not multiple ones in a text message. No, no, no.
3. He reserves his “LOL” for actual laughter, which he exudes out loud and often.
4. He isn’t looking to play “pen pal” with you through your iPhone
Because he knows that all text and no play makes Johnny a very dull boy.
5. When he’s interested in a woman, he doesn’t wait three days to call her.
But he does actually call her, and when he does, he asks her out for dinner, makes reservations, picks a great bottle of wine (because he knows how to) and then makes sure she gets home safely.
6. If he wants to see her again, he lets her know.
And if he doesn’t, he politely lets her know that it was a pleasure to spend time with her, even if it wasn’t. He does, however, let her know gently and firmly enough that he’s not interested so she doesn’t waste her time thinking it might become something it won’t.
7. He reads actual books and newspapers.
He holds opinions on everything from scotch pairings to world events, all while understanding that not all of his opinions are facts and that not everyone has to agree with him in order for him to maintain his relationships or his manhood.
In fact, he enjoys it when you don’t agree with him because it means he gets to indulge you in a good debate or leave you thinking a little bit harder about things than when you sat down in front of him.
8. He opens doors and takes coats.
Not because he feels a woman is weak, but because he’s strong enough to show that he cares about the comfort of those around him.
9. He might want to get into a woman’s bed, but he’s also interested in getting into her head.
Experience has shown him that seduction is a delicate dance, and the man who resides in her mind has conquered every other part of her.
10. He appreciates a woman who shows she cares for him, but he isn’t interested in being courted.
He enjoys the taking the lead in courting and doesn’t need to be “chased” because he’s in desperate need of an ego stroke. He also won’t play “puppy dog” to a woman who takes advantage of this.
11. He doesn’t look to be anyone’s father or savior.
And he doesn’t pretend to be the leading man in any woman’s fairy tale. He’s just a man looking for a partner who can slay her own dragons, pay her own bills and explore the world alongside him.
12. He looks for a woman who doesn’t need him but wants him.
Not for money or the happiness or a baby or a safety net, but solely for who he is.
13. He has a career, a hobby, a family of close friends and a favorite way to have his steak prepared.
Brenda Della Casa is the Author of Cinderella Was a Liar, The Managing Editor of Preston Bailey, A Huffington Post Blogger and the Founder of BDC Life In Style. She is usually found in the gym hitting the speed bag to Eminem, having a wine-down with friends or writing with her beloved Chihuahua, Tony Che Montana, by her side. Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa; Instagram: BrendaDellaCasa; Facebook: BrendaDellaCasa
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