Want to change how your relationships end? Change how they start.
Money, funny, blue-eyed blonde, tall/dark/handsome, cocky…what’s your type?
Do you think: “I want a guy who is smart, spontaneous, tall, handsome, sexy, interesting, well-traveled, athletic, a foodie (even better if he can cook), has strong hands and loves giving massages, understands me, puts me on a pedestal, is good to my mom, loves my dog, wealthy (and is generous with it).”
And every time a relationship ends, you add to your “wants” and “can’t stands” requirements in order to protect yourself from what your last guy lacked. Then you go out and try your luck with your revised checklist.
Still, no matter how seemingly perfectly they fit into your fantasy box, you date for a little while until you realize that you aren’t actually a fit or maybe it gets boring, fizzles out, and eventually it ends.
If you want to change how it ends, change how it starts. Break up with your type!
It’s kind of like milk. The pure and simple white stuff has been all about cookies for way too long now. But milk is looking to find a more interesting relationship, one that allows it to shine and simultaneously helps to highlight and balance its partner.
So milk started testing out other types and found that it paired perfectly with pizza, steak and potatoes, and spicy Thai and Indian food. Just like milk, it’s time for you to start branching out too.
Here are 2 ways on how to meet a guy who fits you better, even if he’s not your paper-perfect type:
1. Career-Type Dating
Contrary to what some may assume, “What does he do for a living?” is not necessarily a superficial question. It divulges the true “who is he?” about almost any guy. More than “What do you do?”, you want to understand why he does it, what inspired him to dedicate his life to that, and what that life looks like.
“What does he do for a living?” is more life-impacting than his looks, interest-revealing than his social activities, and wealth-indicating than his car because his career is what he chooses to spend 8-18 hours a day doing. And that says a lot about a person.
2. Neighborhood-Type Dating
Think about the very different types of people who live in the various different neighborhoods that divide up the city you live in.
Los Angeles is a great example thanks to its tide pool-style landscape. There are 272 neighborhoods in Los Angeles, each defined by a group of people with different styles and attitudes.
If you feel like you’ve dated everyone in your dating pool, then skip over to a different pool — like Silver Lake, Venice, Downtown arts district, Pacific Palisades, Culver City, Topanga, or Mar Vista.
Your perfect match might be just two neighborhoods over, but your preference to not leave your personal tide pool and cross the 405 keeps you living a Groundhogs Day dating life. It’s time to step out and test new waters.
With “irreconcilable differences” causing more than 50 percent of “’til death” promises to end, it’s time to start getting smart when it comes choosing your future spouse.
But don’t wait until the aisle walk is imminent. If you want to avoid wasting a lot of time and possible heartache, it’s time to expand your type and focus on the lifestyle expectations and needs that are more dictated by career and neighborhood than looks and laughs ever will.
Laurel House is an international celebrity Dating and Relationship Coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” a Dating Coach for Three Day Rule Matchmaking, and a 5-time published Lifestyle Author.
Source: Your Tango
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