Whether you realize it or not, your actions give you away.
Saying the actual words, “I love you” to someone and showing your love for them are two things that are each critically important to the success of a relationship.
And in addition to all of the ways there are to show your love, there are also countless ways we each secretly say “I love you” to the people in our lives that we probably carry out most days without ever noticing it.
In general, we’re taught that if we want our romantic relationships to work, we can’t be afraid to tell our partner how we feel, and that we ought to pay close attention to all of the different ways in which we can express our love for our partners through actions as well as by speaking those special three words.
Figuring out your own most private way of showing your love can help you grow a deeper bond with your romantic partner.
In fact, if you sometimes feel neglected or unloved within your romantic relationship, determining the secret way your partner shows you their love can also enrich not only your relationship itself, but your own understanding of and appreciation for your partner.
The key to a long-lasting relationship is intimacy, and if you can find new ways to get to know your partner more deeply, you’re on track for success.
One quick and easy way to figure out the secret ways you or your partner express your love for each other is by taking this visual personality test.
All you (or your partner) need to do is to look at the image below and make a note of the first thing you see.
Then scroll down to see what this personality test reveals about the secret way you say “I love you” to your partner.
If you saw…
1. The house.
If you saw the house first when you looked at this image, for you home and security are deeply important. You like going out on the town every now and then, but if you want to feel well-rested, restored, and happy you need to spend time in your home surrounded by people (and objects) that you absolutely adore. You’re like the living embodiment of a snuggly fleece blanket in front of a warm fire.
The secret way you say “I love you” is by feeding the people you care about.
You’re always baking or cooking something, and even when you don’t have time to prepare treats yourself, nothing makes you happier than finding a bag of almonds in your purse to hand off to your beloved when they are thiiis close to going full hangry on you. Feeding them is your personal, secret way of letting them know just how much they are adored.
2. The moon.
If you saw the moon first when you looked at this image, you are a dreamer at heart. You might come across as being totally grounded and responsible, and while that’s true, you have never managed to shake your dreamer’s sensibilities. You love to write, or to dance, or to appreciate both art forms when others share them with the world. The spiritual and creative side of the world is what inspires you and drives you.
The secret way you say “I love you” is through artistic expression.
You can’t help but work your beloved into every piece of creative work you set out to complete. If it’s a poem, maybe it’s dedicated to them. If it’s a painting, maybe you paint the grass the same shade as their eyes. You might not go around proclaiming your love loudly from a mountaintop, but in your creative life it’s all over the darn place. For you, there’s no other way to be.
3. The wolf.
If you saw the wolf first when you looked at this image, you are a passionate person. You love the things of the flesh, and you inhale them all with gusto. You’re the kind of person who starts a party just by walking into a room. You’ve always got a full bar on hand, and when friends stop by they can expect to be treated to a three-course dinner that you whip up effortlessly all while telling them stories about your latest romantic escapades with your loved one.
The secret way you say “I love you” is through physical touch.
For you, saying I love you is meaningless when you can gently nibble someone on the ear. After all, to you a touch has always said so much more than words ever could. Tiny, sweet, physical gestures are your way of letting the one you love know just how much they mean to you. Sure, you like it rough as much as the next wolfish sort, but it’s the gentle nuzzle into the neck that reveals your softer, more romantic and loving side.
4. The trees.
If you saw the trees first when you looked at this image, you are a person who has been hurt before. When it comes to love, keeping an eye on your own emotional baggage comes with the territory. That said, you’re a person who feels things a little bit more keenly than everyone else. So what might be a little ding for one person can leave you reeling for weeks or months on end. You’re still hopeful, but you’ve been burned — and it shows.
The secret way you say “I love you” is by opening up.
Making yourself emotionally vulnerable to your partner is the best way for you to establish true intimacy, and you know that. Saying “I love you” and doing nice things is all well and good, but you aren’t really in love until you’re sharing your secret hopes and fears with your partner. It might seem small, but even the tiniest bit of emotional availability on your part is a tremendous act of love.
5. The face.
If you saw the face first when you looked at this image you are a person known for being highly intuitive about others, a person who dreams big and who can set and realize serious goals. While everyone else is fretting about details, you’re putting together a big picture that’s so thoughtfully rendered you don’t need to worry, because you know it will all turn out like it’s supposed to. You’re a natural leader, and you’ve got the aura of calmness to prove it.
The secret way you say “I love you” is through scheduling time to be together.
It might sound like the opposite of romance, but the truth of the matter is that to you there is no better expression of love than putting someone’s name in your calendar at a specific and highly guarded time and place. You have so much going on all the time, when you make him a priority you aren’t just saying that you take your relationship seriously, you’re saying that you love him, and if he’s worth his salt, he’ll figure that out.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango’s Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.
This post first appeared at Your Tango
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