By Lukas Schwekendiek
The most important life lesson that I have ever learned was one that most people ignore. Most people are so busy running around and trying to cope with the world that they forget to be honest with themselves.
Being honest with myself is the most important Life Lesson I learned.
We lie to others. We say we will do something and then we don’t. We pretend to be someone else, or fulfill a certain role just to please others. We ignore our feelings because they are not appropriate. And we hide our true nature so that we do not get thought of as weird and get the approval of the world around us.
All of this is nothing more than being dishonest with ourselves.
Every one of these things causes major reasons for depressions to occur. Being so dishonest with ourselves gives us the feeling that our true self is not good enough to be in this world.
That we have to change, adapt and pretend to be someone else just to be able to be accepted.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yet we still stay dishonest with ourselves, which causes major problems in our lives.
What actually happens when you are being dishonest with yourself?
You stop trusting yourself because you never do what you say you will. This causes your words to be meaningless, which means others will not trust you either.
You become more aggressive, depressive and fearful. Not allowing your emotions is denying part of yourself. Your emotions are part of you and you are feeling them for a reason! Emotions do not appear out of nowhere, but when you do not accept them you are denying everything associated with them. Causing you to become more aggressive, depressive and fearful since you never deal with the true causes.
Your self-confidence drops down the drain. If you are not yourself most of the time then how can you possibly say you are comfortable being who you are? And when you cannot be yourself, then it means you are saying you are not good enough for the world as you are right now.
You lose integrity and the means to stand up for what you believe in. If you are never honest with yourself you will not find the energy and passion to stand up to those who want to harm you. Instead you will let them trample all over you because that is what you’ve been doing all the time anyway.
What happens when you are being HONEST with yourself?
You start believing in your own strength again. Instead of relying on others you believe in yourself. Seeing that you can accomplish the things you say creates tremendous power. This causes you to finally take responsibility for the things going on in your life, which gives you control.
Nothing seems so serious anymore. The problems seem smaller, the people seem less aggressive and the only thing that has changed was that you started being honest with yourself.
Being honest causes you to learn to interpret things the way they are. This drastically reduces the importance of most negative life events and let’s you handle them.
Your confidence skyrockets! You will have no need to hide from the world anymore. Being honest with yourself creates comfort. And once you are comfortable with who you are you can learn to love yourself. Which turns into feeling amazing about who you are, increasing your confidence drastically.
You will not allow anything or anyone to trample your boundaries. We all have things that we simply will not tolerate. Once you start being honest with yourself your boundaries become fortified bunkers that no one dare step over. This comes from the increase in integrity and allows you to live life by your own means, the way you want to!
Your emotions lose control over you. As you accept the emotions for what they are, you increase the control you exert over your emotions. Practicing this leads you to eventually be in full control over what you want to feel!
All of these changes seem very nice, but you will not nearly understand what they all mean unless you start being honest with yourself.
1. Do not lie
2. Do what you said you would do
3. Allow yourself to feel all emotions equally.
Following these simple three things creates integrity, honesty and a strong sense of self. Which leads to all the positive points above. Start today and see what I mean!
About The Author
Lukas Schwekendiek is a private life coach who focuses on habits, skills, and mindset. He is one of the top Writers on Quora with over 7 Million views. He has been a top writer in Self-Improvement, Optimism and Setting Goals and over 60 other categories.