Date Someone For Who They Are Today, Not Who You Hope They Will Be Tomorrow

By Jenna Hushka

We have been conditioned to this act that once we find a spark, a connection, and any bit of attention from a person of interest, we instantly cling to it. It feels good, right?

It’s only human nature to crave that intimacy from another.

But sometimes we rush full-heartedly into these feeling and hardly take the time to analyze who they really are.

Suddenly, all of your previous standards and expectations disappear just because it selfishly feels nice to cuddle with someone again, feels less lonely to set the table for two at dinner, and momentarily—you feel like you can put trust in someone else’s companionship.

But the danger of this butterfly phase is that we make excuses for poor behavior in the beginning that will only carry on into the future. We end up investing time into someone who is not worth yours, yet you choose to hold onto hope.

Your time is the most sacred and valuable thing in this lifetime and must not spend it wishing they would become this person they are not.

At the beginning, its one canceled plan, its one screaming fight, its one caught risqué text message to another person, and we brush it off because we don’t give up that easy.

We’re human, and sometimes this behavior can be excused. But when this behavior turns into every weekend; it becomes a habit. It is who they are.

You catch yourself making up excuses for their actions in hopes they will change, but somewhere in your rationale side, you know they will not.

But when is enough, enough?

We tell ourselves, “This won’t be their behavior forever right?” or “I believe them that they won’t do it again.”

A healthy relationship should never leave you feeling insecure, depleted, and small.

How many sorry’s do you need for you to realize, this is who they are? When they show you their true colors, believe them the first time, not 5 years later. They will continue to show themselves for what they are over and over again because history repeats itself.

You will not change them because the power to change can only stem from the individual.

Relationships are messy but you should never have to compromise what makes you, you in hopes that this relationship will work.

There is someone out there who will feel lucky to be with you right from the start. There is someone willing to show and give you the love of the world, and build you up, not down.

Let it go. It takes strength but there is someone out there who is meant for you today; not for who you hope they will become tomorrow.

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