It was 3 a.m. and you were alone. You lay down in your bed, curled up in a ball, and tried to save yourself. You had been weeping for hours, wondering how things that felt so right could be so wrong and has caused you so much pain. You had been overthinking all of the ‘whys’ and the ‘could have beens’. You had been questioning yourself where did the wreckage start, how you allowed it to happen or how you weren’t able to anticipate it in the first place.
And then suddenly, you had been blaming yourself. You wondered why you were never enough even though you thought you had given your all. You had been blaming yourself for being so toxic, for draining people that came into your life. You became used to people giving you up and leaving you for good. You got used to people getting tired of you and your drama, that was why you started hating yourself for being too emotional. You started fighting against yourself for being vulnerable and for allowing your feelings to consume you.
You were too busy hating yourself until it came into your mind that maybe people got tired of you because you were really toxic. Maybe they got exhausted and you cannot blame them for being human, too. Maybe you had to change your attitude. Maybe you should love yourself first. Maybe it was you who needed fixing and not them. Maybe you had caused them pain, too.
Another reason could be that maybe they were eager to replace you. Maybe they just stopped loving you and found someone better for them. Maybe they got tired of you because you started to be boring and everything became a routine. Maybe they did not want to settle just yet. Maybe they wanted to enjoy more and make the most out of their youth.
Maybe you were not the one they needed. Maybe time was not on your side. Maybe they were still not over their exes. Maybe they were not just ready for something real.
Or maybe, just maybe, they were just not meant to stay in your life.
Maybe you just had to accept that they were temporary people who had to give you the most important lessons in life. Maybe people getting tired and leaving you would be the best thing for you because you needed to be strong on your own. You had to be independent and be the best you so when the right one comes, things would finally fall into place.
Despite all these maybes, one thing is for sure. People who intend to stay in your life will always be there for you. Yes, they might get tired but they know that losing you won’t do them any good. They would do anything and find a reason to stick around.
Maybe now is the time to focus on yourself and appreciate those who stayed than dwell on those who left.
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