The Secret to a Successful mother and Daughter Relationship

Mother- Daughter relationships are supposed to be the best kind of family relationships, Unfortunately, they are laden with lots of drama.

Do you remember how you felt about your mum when you were a teenager?

she was your worst enemy.You thought she was here to make your life hell, you’d always feel that she didn’t understand how you felt, you’d think she deliberately made your life miserable, now when you look back, she is the best thing that has ever happened to you.You even appreciate her more.You might have had irreconcilable differences with your mum or your attitude has caused irreparable damage between you two, leaving you confused on how to fix things up.

Here are a few things, I think you should do to maintain and or build a balanced relationship with your mum.

First of all, understand that Mother -Daughter relationships are sacred and treat it as such.
You will never have another biological mother.She can have other children, but she will always be your mum.You can have foster mums or even step mums but your mum will always be your mum.

When you treat your relationship with her as such, you will unconsciously grow love and respect for her and this will, in turn,  show up in your attitude and speech when you are around her.

Make no mistake that when she starts to see these changes, hers will, mindset, attitude will change around you too and you guys will mend fences.

Secondly, have conversations.

If you are not happy about her behaviour, or you don’t appreciate her meddling or overzealousness, sit down with her and have a conversation.
Tell her how you feel, listen to her, and fix it.

If you have no grudge against her,intentionally plan meetings or phone calls so you can have conversations, talk to her  and listen to her, don’t shut her up, allow her express how she feels about certain topics or issues that concern you, your family and marriage or any other  part of your life at all.

It is okay if you don’t think her opinions will work out for you, politely say so and give her reasons why you won’t accept her advice.

Don’t make her feel like an outsider because you don not share the same views with her.Let her know that her opinions count and you just don’t think they should be the final say on certain issues.

She is your mum and you could do with the fortune she has amassed in experience.

Finally, Move On.

Stop thinking about the mistakes of the past.
She might have hurt you bitterly or might have given you reason to doubt her love for you over and over and over again.
When you follow the steps listed above, forget the past and move forward.

No one goes forward looking behind.

Create a new platform entirely with her and let her know that you love her and you are ready to move forward. This also applies to those who have a balanced relationship already but want it to grow.
Forget about the past and forge ahead.

There is a difference between Mother-daughter drama and a toxic mother daughter relationship.If you have a toxic relationship with your mother, please cut her off. The above points have nothing to do with you.

By toxic, I refer to situations where your mother was your pimp or has given you advice over the years that has ruined your life. She is still your mother, no doubt about that but you need to be careful when you take advice from her.

Mother – Daughter relationships should be treasured.
I personally love my mum so much, she is my best friend.
If I had an abortion today, for example, I would tell my mum rather than tell my friend.
My friend might let the cat out tomorrow, but my mum will never.

She might reprimand me and ignore me for some times, but she will never wash my dirty linen in the public. This doesn’t mean we always agree.
My mum thinks that because I have entered my third decade and still single, i should forget all business prospects that will make me acquire wealth. In her world, marriage is the most important achievement in life.

Of course, i disagree with her, and this creates tension between us.Other times, I hit milestones and can’t just call my mama to share the goodnews with her. As much as i would love to, i can’t because, in her world, it’s inconsequential. This does not make her a bad person. We just have different views.

I still love and appreciate her plus I don’t stop opening up to her. She is my mother and that bond is sacred.

You can build a balanced relationship with you mum or daughter if you want too. A journey of unending kilometres begins with one step.Take the step today.

How is your relationship with your mum?please share in the comment section.

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8 Comments on "The Secret to a Successful mother and Daughter Relationship"

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Abel Udoekene Jnr
Admin

I love my mum so much and I believe mothers are one of the best things that happen to mankind.. I remember most times if I do anything wrong, so won’t react immediately, she will wait for the atmosphere to calm down then she will call me, sit me down and lecture me….. Mother are the first teachers, they are the backbone of the society

Tony Stewart
Guest
Tony Stewart

The major gap I normally see is that communication gap.. I use to tell my Children to see us as your friends not just as parents so that they can be that freedom of expression..
Wonderful write up, thank you for sharing

Helena P
Guest
Helena P

I won’t deny, as a lady, I have series of arguments with my mother mostly all the time,, especially now where she wants me to marry because I’ve gotten to the age of marriage . And her own orientation and mine is so different.. I won’t call myself a good daughter, maybe I’m something between good and bad… I can’t just run off and marry any man… That’s my major concern, but the house is becoming hotter by the day, I’m so confused

Nditoeka
Member

I believe you need to take the Author’s advice, sit down with her and discuss… Remember the decision you may take now, will shape your tomorrow…
Put yourself in her shoe, understand her fears, then discuss with her that will help you alot

Black Joe
Guest
Black Joe

Mother’s love is the best… I hope I can learn from my mother and transfer same to the woman of my dreams. I don’t know, it’s so sad, ladies of nowadays are quite different from our generation kind of mothers, they tend to be too rigid at times, too socially conscious, most of them are living a lie..

That Ghanaian Girl
Member

My sister you have nailed it.. I love my mother so much.. And I’m glad she loves me too

Nditoeka
Member

This is so true, you drive me back to my childhood, I remember when I used to argue with my mother, thinking she was my enermy, but am grateful today that she has actually made me who I am

David Gutierrez
Guest
David Gutierrez

I’m happy you don’t claim to be a saint or a perfectionist, because that’s what most people claim to be. I’m happy for you.

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Comments

8 Comments on "The Secret to a Successful mother and Daughter Relationship"

Notify of
avatar
Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Abel Udoekene Jnr
Admin

I love my mum so much and I believe mothers are one of the best things that happen to mankind.. I remember most times if I do anything wrong, so won’t react immediately, she will wait for the atmosphere to calm down then she will call me, sit me down and lecture me….. Mother are the first teachers, they are the backbone of the society

Tony Stewart
Guest
Tony Stewart

The major gap I normally see is that communication gap.. I use to tell my Children to see us as your friends not just as parents so that they can be that freedom of expression..
Wonderful write up, thank you for sharing

Helena P
Guest
Helena P

I won’t deny, as a lady, I have series of arguments with my mother mostly all the time,, especially now where she wants me to marry because I’ve gotten to the age of marriage . And her own orientation and mine is so different.. I won’t call myself a good daughter, maybe I’m something between good and bad… I can’t just run off and marry any man… That’s my major concern, but the house is becoming hotter by the day, I’m so confused

Nditoeka
Member

I believe you need to take the Author’s advice, sit down with her and discuss… Remember the decision you may take now, will shape your tomorrow…
Put yourself in her shoe, understand her fears, then discuss with her that will help you alot

Black Joe
Guest
Black Joe

Mother’s love is the best… I hope I can learn from my mother and transfer same to the woman of my dreams. I don’t know, it’s so sad, ladies of nowadays are quite different from our generation kind of mothers, they tend to be too rigid at times, too socially conscious, most of them are living a lie..

That Ghanaian Girl
Member

My sister you have nailed it.. I love my mother so much.. And I’m glad she loves me too

Nditoeka
Member

This is so true, you drive me back to my childhood, I remember when I used to argue with my mother, thinking she was my enermy, but am grateful today that she has actually made me who I am

David Gutierrez
Guest
David Gutierrez

I’m happy you don’t claim to be a saint or a perfectionist, because that’s what most people claim to be. I’m happy for you.

wpDiscuz