Mother- Daughter relationships are supposed to be the best kind of family relationships, Unfortunately, they are laden with lots of drama.
Do you remember how you felt about your mum when you were a teenager?
she was your worst enemy.You thought she was here to make your life hell, you’d always feel that she didn’t understand how you felt, you’d think she deliberately made your life miserable, now when you look back, she is the best thing that has ever happened to you.You even appreciate her more.You might have had irreconcilable differences with your mum or your attitude has caused irreparable damage between you two, leaving you confused on how to fix things up.
Here are a few things, I think you should do to maintain and or build a balanced relationship with your mum.
First of all, understand that Mother -Daughter relationships are sacred and treat it as such.
You will never have another biological mother.She can have other children, but she will always be your mum.You can have foster mums or even step mums but your mum will always be your mum.
When you treat your relationship with her as such, you will unconsciously grow love and respect for her and this will, in turn, show up in your attitude and speech when you are around her.
Make no mistake that when she starts to see these changes, hers will, mindset, attitude will change around you too and you guys will mend fences.
Secondly, have conversations.
If you are not happy about her behaviour, or you don’t appreciate her meddling or overzealousness, sit down with her and have a conversation.
Tell her how you feel, listen to her, and fix it.
If you have no grudge against her,intentionally plan meetings or phone calls so you can have conversations, talk to her and listen to her, don’t shut her up, allow her express how she feels about certain topics or issues that concern you, your family and marriage or any other part of your life at all.
It is okay if you don’t think her opinions will work out for you, politely say so and give her reasons why you won’t accept her advice.
Don’t make her feel like an outsider because you don not share the same views with her.Let her know that her opinions count and you just don’t think they should be the final say on certain issues.
She is your mum and you could do with the fortune she has amassed in experience.
Finally, Move On.
Stop thinking about the mistakes of the past.
She might have hurt you bitterly or might have given you reason to doubt her love for you over and over and over again.
When you follow the steps listed above, forget the past and move forward.
No one goes forward looking behind.
Create a new platform entirely with her and let her know that you love her and you are ready to move forward. This also applies to those who have a balanced relationship already but want it to grow.
Forget about the past and forge ahead.
There is a difference between Mother-daughter drama and a toxic mother daughter relationship.If you have a toxic relationship with your mother, please cut her off. The above points have nothing to do with you.
By toxic, I refer to situations where your mother was your pimp or has given you advice over the years that has ruined your life. She is still your mother, no doubt about that but you need to be careful when you take advice from her.
Mother – Daughter relationships should be treasured.
I personally love my mum so much, she is my best friend.
If I had an abortion today, for example, I would tell my mum rather than tell my friend.
My friend might let the cat out tomorrow, but my mum will never.
She might reprimand me and ignore me for some times, but she will never wash my dirty linen in the public. This doesn’t mean we always agree.
My mum thinks that because I have entered my third decade and still single, i should forget all business prospects that will make me acquire wealth. In her world, marriage is the most important achievement in life.
Of course, i disagree with her, and this creates tension between us.Other times, I hit milestones and can’t just call my mama to share the goodnews with her. As much as i would love to, i can’t because, in her world, it’s inconsequential. This does not make her a bad person. We just have different views.
I still love and appreciate her plus I don’t stop opening up to her. She is my mother and that bond is sacred.
You can build a balanced relationship with you mum or daughter if you want too. A journey of unending kilometres begins with one step.Take the step today.
How is your relationship with your mum?please share in the comment section.