This is what you should do to show your love and respect to your partner.
Men seem to have a very difficult time expressing themselves emotionally. Thanks to gender stereotypes, many men have been taught or learned to repress their emotions and not really discuss things that have happened to them. Those who are in a relationship with a man who doesn’t know how to verbalize or explain their past and emotions associated with it are left to figure it out on their own.
Always remember to clarify things with your partner. If you are unsure whether or not something is a trigger for him, make sure to discuss it with your partner before assuming it is or is not. In doing this, you are opening the doors for communication with your partner about difficult topics. This can help your partner open up with you and communicate the past with you.
Don’t look at is as baggage. As we get older, the more likely we are to have experienced something that really hurt us in our lives. It is not anyone’s place to judge another for what they have been through. Don’t judge your partner or get frustrated that he won’t tell you exactly what to do to make things easier for him or better able to deal with the past.
Instead of using your words, use your actions. Show him what it feels like to be loved and accepted. Treat him with the respect and dignity you want to be treated with. Here are some suggestions on how you can do just that.
- Learn what hurts him. Pay attention to how he is talking about certain people from his past. This will give you a little bit of background as to who contributed to his rough past and what to avoid so you do not hurt him
- Find out his triggers by observation. Make sure to avoid them. These may be things you have to become self-aware of certain actions and behaviors and be cognizant of them while you’re around him
- Do not judge or criticize him. Accept him. Make your presence a safe and comfortable one
- Bring his favorite candy or ice cream home. Randomly buy him something small but he’ll love
- Send random texts letting him know you are thinking about him, love him, miss him and so forth
- He may not want to talk and that is okay. Sit with him. Hug him. Your nonverbal behavior will let him know you are there for him when he’s ready
- Take things at a pace that both you and him are comfortable with. You may want to move forward in the relationship and he may not be quite there yet or vice-versa. Be patient. Time will make a difference for him
- Be considerate. Don’t pressure him to talk about anything he’s not ready to. He may not be comfortable enough yet or have a difficulty talking about his past in general. Show him this and you’ll earn his love and respect
Make sure he doesn’t feel like he comes with baggage. More likely than not, he already feels as if he’s lugging it around everywhere he goes. Show respect and acceptance. Treat him the way you want to be treated.
We often relate extravagant events and very important memories with love rather than experiencing love on a daily basis. For example, we’re likely to remember our partner asking to take the next step in the relationship and move in together rather than a brain games book your partner got you on a random Sunday.
It’s unfortunate because we expect big things rather than the daily little things that add up to so much more in the end. We need to start appreciating the small ways people show each other love everyday rather than the sporadic huge moments every now and again. Love can be shown a number of ways but we have to learn to accept love that way.
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