The Worst Advice I Was Told About Love

By Abel Udoekene

I remember those days very clearly, the day I was so curious to understand what and how to love.
I was sitting down in a classroom, with my notepad trying to write a poem about love. From my desk, the wind blows some sweet voices of love to my ears, it was that of two lady just few seat behind me discussing.

“He has finally ask me out” One of them said
“Wow! Congratulations, but remember the rule” the second one replied
“off course I do, rule number one, play hard to get” she added and their laughter echoed out my loneliness and I became a wanderer with my pen begging for what to write.

“Play hard to get” Became like a song in my head. I sang it loud, slow and mimic it often, until my father confronted me one day about my new found attitude and I couldn’t lie but I open up and share the story with him. He laugh at my ignorance, then told me “Abel, good ladies don’t play hard to get, they play hard to forget”

That was wisdom,I could sense it immediately the signal penetrated through my head. It cool off the echoing music, clear out my doubts and strengthen me to ran off immediately to meet a friend who claimed to be a love expert and he told me his own guiding principles about love.

“Men look for sex and find love, women look for money and find love”

By now, my confusion level became so critical, and I wrote money and sex on my notepad with a big question mark, where does love fit in here?. Immediately, the words of our radio pastor became so audible “Wife respect your husband, husband love your wife” The studio was not so close enough, I wanted to ask him whether men don’t need love. But I kept quiet.

“How do I find true love?” was the questions that invaded my peace every day. And I was left with the assumption that love was only for the rich as I was told, “Abel, once you have money, love will look for you.” My friend, the love expert said. But my father thinks differently:
“People appreciate successful people, that’s the truth, but in reality, money can’t buy love” My father tried to raise my hope.

He shares some wonderful tales of love to my delight and I was so happy. He asked me to read a part in Romeo and Juliet and I was moved by what I heard, then I vowed to look for my Juliet no matter what it takes.

“Don’t deceived yourself my friend, Romeo and Juliet is just fiction and story, true love cost money” the love expert said.

I was often scared to love, not because of heart break but because I didn’t want to deceived myself.
“I Love You, could mean, I want to have sex with you or I need your money, depending on who is saying it” My father once said.
I grow up to see people attaching so many conditions to Love, that’s scared me. I grow up to see people crying and some even committing suicide just because of love, that’s scared me.

But as I grow up and my eyes became so open to love, I realized that love is not synonymous to money or sex, love is a very beautiful thing, that without which, life will be meaningless.

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Written by Abel Udoekene Jnr

Abel is a blogger, a social media strategist and a small business influencer.


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