When He Hesitates To Choose You, You Have To Choose Yourself

By Holly Riordan

You should not settle for someone who makes you wait for a text message, wait for a chance to see him, and wait for a label to be slapped onto your relationship.

You should hold out for someone who cannot wait to call you his girlfriend, who cannot wait to introduce you to his parents, who cannot wait to kickstart your lives together.

If he has been acting like your boyfriend, but hasn’t actually made any moves to become your official boyfriend, then he is wasting your precious time. He is leading you on because he likes having you around when he is bored and lonely, but he doesn’t want you around all the time.

When he hesitates to choose you, you have to choose yourself.

When he keeps you waiting for a text, choose to put down your phone. Choose to spend your time doing something more valuable than waiting for a response that should have arrived hours earlier. Choose to focus on yourself instead of him because if he is not considering you a priority, then you should not consider him one of yours.

Instead of keeping your weekend clear in case he invites you over at the last second, choose to make plans with your friends. Choose to turn him down when his text arrives at ten at night because he should have contacted you earlier. He should have asked you to hang out in advance if he was that concerned about seeing your face.

When he hesitates to choose you, you have to choose yourself. You have to admit you deserve more. You have to move on from him because he does not realize what he has been pushing away.

There is no sense in chasing after him in an attempt to convince him to treat you better. He is not going to change. He is going to continue hurting you for as long as you let him.

Instead of giving him a second chance he has not earned, instead of convincing yourself he is a good guy deep down and deserves to try again, think about what you deserve. You deserve someone who gives as much as he takes. Someone who reaches out to you in the middle of the day, not only at night when he is half-wasted.

You deserve someone who cannot wait to enter a serious relationship with you, not someone who is unsure whether they are ready for such a big commitment. Not someone who wonders whether you are worth leaving the bachelor life behind. Not someone who values their ‘freedom’ over your soft heart.

Do not choose him when he has been hesitating to choose you. Do not walk into a one-sided relationship. Do not put yourself through that kind of pain when it could easily be avoided.

Instead of choosing to listen to your heart, choose to listen to your head. To your common sense. To the voice in the back of your mind reminding you that you can do so much better.

Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.

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