When she dates the wrong person, but thinks it’s her forever person, she will fall into toxic habits. She won’t even realize how much she is hurting herself, because she is distracted by her love. She thinks she has found the person she is meant to spend the rest of her life alongside and that outweighs any pain she feels.
That is why she will go out of her way to see him, even though he never does the same for her. She will send the first text and plan out dates. She will take on all of the responsibilities of the relationship, even though they should be splitting them down the center.
She will put in all of the effort without minding how one-sided the relationship has become. She will do everything she can for him because she cares, not because she expects to get something in return.
She thinks she’s being kind. Romantic. She doesn’t realize that she is only encouraging his mistreatment of her. She doesn’t realize that it’s time to walk away and find someone who treats her better.
She won’t blame him for his mistakes. Instead of making him take credit for them, she will find a way to turn the situation around (with his help) and hate herself for what happened. She will start feeling like she isn’t good enough, like she has done something wrong.
When he threatens to leave, she will do anything to convince him to stay. She will feel like her worth is tied up in her relationship. She won’t be able to picture her world without him.
She will fight for the relationship, no matter how much it hurts her, because she thinks that is what she is supposed to do. She thinks giving up would be a mistake. She thinks the relationship is capable of being saved, even when it is far past the point.
She will keep going back to him, even after he has made unforgivable mistakes. After getting out her tears, after having a screaming match with him, she will give him a second chance.
Her friends will ask her why she’s staying and she will make excuses about what a good guy he is and how he has promised to change. That last part is true. He did promise. Deep down, she knows he isn’t going to keep it, but she convinces herself that he might.
Eventually, after spending too much time with him, she will become as toxic as he is. She will start lying about the little things to avoid a fight. She will do certain things behind his back so that she doesn’t have to deal with the fallout of having him find out. She will become the kind of person she has always hated.
When she loves the wrong guy, she will lose herself. She will feel shattered until she comes to the realization she cannot stay with him anymore — and should not have settled for him in the first place.
Holly is the author of Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection.
This post first appeared at Thought Catalog
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