“I was the captain of his ship, and everything went smoothly until we lost control of the cancer. Then, I had to let it go and let God’s will be done.”
Erin Quebedeaux, 32, spoke those words just one year ago, shortly after losing her husband to cancer.
Kyle, 31, died on Sept. 30, 2016, after a four-year battle with desmoplastic small cell sarcoma, a very rare, aggressive form of the disease.
“We were shocked,” Erin says of the initial diagnosis. “The prognosis was a 50 percent chance of him living five years, and I was never in denial. I figured it would eventually take him, and I never lost hope … but it was always in the back of her mind.”
The couple went through hell and back – physically and emotionally.
At one point, after a relapse and several rounds of grueling treatment, doctors thought they had a miracle after Kyle’s scans revealed no evidence of the disease.
But that miracle was short-lived.
After Kyle began to experience symptoms again, Erin had a feeling the cancer had returned — and doctors confirmed that it was back with a vengeance.
“It was in his abdomen, his pelvis, lungs, liver — it was everywhere,” she says.
Shortly after that, Kyle passed away, leaving behind his wife and their two children, now 6 and 12.
Erin was broken – and her world got very dark.
“I was lonely,” she says. “I had every intention of dropping the kids at school and going back to sleep every day after Kyle died. I was ready to stay medicated on the Xanax my doctor prescribed and drink myself to sleep once the kids were in bed – but I said to myself, ‘You know what? I have to get my shit together and live for these kids.’ ”
Erin had been grieving the loss of her husband for years – ever since he was diagnosed back in 2012. But the culmination of his illness was overwhelming.
After Kyle passed, she was lost – but eventually, she came to an incredibly brave realization.
“Nothing could change the fact that he died and was not coming back,” she says. “But was I supposed to lay down and die, too, because that’s what society says? We knew where we stood on the day Kyle died. He wanted me to go be happy again. He said to me, ‘Take care of yourself, take care of the kids … be happy.’ ”
And that’s exactly what this young widow has been trying to do.
Months after Kyle’s death, Erin met a man named Bryan, 38.
“He caught my attention,” she says. “And I felt like if Kyle could have handpicked anyone for me, it would be him. He loves me, he loves my kids, and he has his shit together like Kyle did.”
And most importantly, Bryan respects the dynamic that brought him and Erin together.
“He is so respectful of the fact that me and Kyle didn’t get divorced,” Erin explains. “Kyle died – I didn’t stop loving him – that’s why I am no longer with him. Bryan takes part in everything we do to celebrate Kyle’s memory … he never gives me problems. If I can’t console my kids over their daddy, Bryan will.”
Source: Daily Advertiser